nooooooo waddling mice, zombie webfeets! tiny squeaky quacks!

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maw: nooooooo waddling mice, zombie webfeets! tiny squeaky quacks!

schnozz: he's like "man was it raining out there! Glad I bought my fancy new Duck Boots Extreme!"

maw: ohhhhh okay, that's not so bad. actually, that's sort of "cooool"... he'd have to walk like a scuba diver on land, but he might be able to pull it off as a sort of bad-ass march.

schnozz: yep. He'll take his little feets out of there once he's bragged a bit about his big boot purchase.

maw: ‎...and after he'd scared his friends. he could do the ol' foot print trail gag, and the wee mice would be made to believe that a ghost duck was haunting their mouse town.

maw: echoing spooky quacks.

schnozz: though he'd be giggling squeakily the whole time laying out those big foot prints - his arms are in an old man square dance gesture.

schnozz: "hoohoohehehe woops! oop! hehe ahaha"

maw: out of control wavering left and right into the walls, all top heavy on those flippers, gigling and gurgling like a drunk after his pig.

schnozz: pig-farming mice shouldn't get into the sauce

fog-eyed and daydream-brained; frog-headed and dried eel brain

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schnozz: fog-eyed and daydream-brained; frog-headed and dried eel brain

maw: i am a contrasting bulgy fuzz eyed horse-faced mucus spout.

schnozz: holy fogie! horse-faced sprouts!

maw: long face sprouting, an oozing growth of jaw and maw, wax mask melto beast, toting kleenex, tea cures in tow. mwweegggghhhhhh says my melting sinus cavities.

schnozz: ack are you melting?

maw: yes. and congealing and leaking, a sort of a weird science experiment in state changes and transformations.

flatcraspic and crepuscular frills and gills

schnozz: flatcraspic and crepuscular frills and gills

maw: flaptasmic reflector gills siphoning out the ill krill

schnozz: creepy septic tanks spilling mineral serum from cagey garden hosing

maw: ooo that sounds exciting. balloon carcasses and twitchy rubber hoses

schnozz: twitch twitch flail and flop

maw: hose-fish caught on a rubbery dock

he's saying "oh gaahhd, i'm stranded, i'm stuck, i'm totally BEACHED and oh gahdd here comes that kid again, he's going to stand in my mouth

maw: he's saying "oh gaahhd, i'm stranded, i'm stuck, i'm totally BEACHED and oh gahdd here comes that kid again, he's going to stand in my mouth for a photo op, i KNOW it!"

schnozz: cheered up now. :)

maw: that's what miserable beached whales and the like exist for, silly.


maw: misery! pinned up by poles, hung out to DRY!!

schnozz: AAUUghhh eeahAAHUGH!

bobbity bobbity, just nodding and pacing and waltzing

maw: bobbity bobbity, just nodding and pacing and waltzing. it reminds me of a bored elephant, just swaying, moving his weight from left to right, trunk penduluming in the dust between his feet.

schnozz: I love this sleepy balloon.

maw: it's kind of like that magical transforming bear animation, except it is a much quieter transformation in size and shape and location.

schnozz: there's a great collection of examples here.....! Future ongoing essay notes...

maw: footnote extensions, metamegatexts.



schnozz: whoaa he ate someone, all blubbery and quivering.

maw: this show looks pretty amazing. some serious need for suspension of disbelief here.

schnozz: aarghhhh mah face is smashed and mashed, mushed and smushed!

maw: dangerous rubbery plastic ghouls!

a slightly more obscene towel elephant.

schnozz: a slightly more obscene towel elephant.


schnozz: For some reason, even while they're so icky-sweet and sentimental, they're like great symbols for general anxiety. I like how they look like failed experiments.

maw: ah! what are those?? sea swans, flying seals, or gummi sting rays? towel animals tell you not to fear drowning or lack of lifeboats or buffet food poisoning or sun stroke or claustrophobic cabins or fat tourist stampedes.

schnozz: they're so reassuring because they truly understand.

maw: that's what his beady button eyes are saying anyways. no one could ever be lonely with animal towels in their cabin!

schnozz: if I was forced to write a bio and say I was "into" something vacuous and cute, I'd say towel animals.

maw: towel animals are so comforting and full of drying potential. they are well prepared for spills and tears and sweat and blood. you can wear it as a turban, use it as a wet-towel-whip, or you can just cuddle.

have you ever watched true blood?

(image source)

maw: have you ever watched true blood? (it's a tv show, if you don't know it) it's really sexy and full of vampires and louisiana rednecks.

schnozz: I sure HAVE:
http://thewritingshed.blogspot.com/2009/05/true-blood-2009.html

maw: oh YEAH, you hate it! hah!

schnozz: are you also a hater? I hope so!

maw: i totally love it for its over-the-top trashiness, cheesy, SO cheesy flashbacks, and slickness/grossness.... but i had pretty low expectations.

schnozz: right - its ok to watch if you are brainless from food or booze and need some TV to keep you company

maw: i like how it sort of plays up the banality and boring ho-hum porno aspect, since it's a world where there are vampires who are fighting for equal rights and giving speeches on the civil war in front of a confederate flag, and people get beaten up or eaten up on a daily basis. boredom and cliche and bad sex in extreme situations...

maw: hah sorry, i don't hate it. but i also love buffy the vampire slayer and harry potter and other mindless gumph.

schnozz: booooooh!!!

maw: i read a little harry potter, then i read a little about quantum physics and philosophy and then i go back and watch true blood and thus keep myself from becoming too boringly stuck in academic cleverness or glitzy simpledom.

maw: booooooooh?! awww

schnozz: oh harry potter is good, but true blood is terrifically horrible, I just can't enjoy anything about it.

maw: one of my best friends is a guinea pig named goatface, what did you expect???

maw: how many episodes did you watch? i mean, they're really all the same... i think i've seen up to the eighth episode, and about 10 people have died and i have seen about 10 different sets of boobs.

schnozz: if the sound is turned off and you are playing monopoly or scrabble or something at the same time while having a few conversations, true blood is a good show. It certainly LOOKS good. It SOUNDS crappy.

schnozz: I watched to about season two halfway mark then I found something else to do while packing and cleaning last month

schnozz: oh the idea for the show is great - I just loathe the lame way its all turned out and the horrendously laughable and pathetic dialogue

maw: which aren't exactly selling points, but i do like how ridiculous it is. maybe not having a tv makes me crave the tv-est tv there is.

schnozz: no I know what you mean - I watched it on purpose myself because its like having cheesy music on in the background while doing something really boring - it functions like the best cheese there is

maw: yes, exactly! i think its just that i LIKE shitty crap, whereas you HATE it, but still watch it. maybe like and hate are interchangeable when discussing things like true blood.

schnozz: I do enjoy hating true blood - it is pure fun

maw: next time i watch it, i will hear your groans reverberating every time those fangs click or anna paquin is overly innocent for someone who can hear everyone's thoughts.

schnozz: aarrrghhhhh!

maw: simmer down, you groaning ghoul! "ooooooOOOoooOOOhhhhaaaarrrggggg!"

schnozz: mmrreaahhh (smaller sound of disgust)